present your bodies as a living Sacrifice...

sometimes Funerals and deaths can be nothing short of a blessing. yes the tears come.. but they are tears of spiritual cleansing of my soul and compassion that only God supplies us with. it has dramatically changed my whole view of funerals and deaths because of the extremes that happen in that setting...in a house of mourning... yet also a house of hope... how can one not be changed and restored... biblical truths were repeated and realized over and over again. it's something so exciting.. because you see the meaning of life unfolding before your eyes and the mini glimpses of eternity with God and it makes you want to go home already (eternal Home)...


im just overwhelmed right now and thinking about my life and really getting to thinking about whats the deep and real reason im here and could i be ok with spending the rest of my life just not living for myself and if that would entail not ever marrying but presenting myself as a living sacrifice to the Lord, like in Romans 12:1 where it talks about obedience to Christ and the verse goes :

I appeal to you therefore brothers, by the Mercies of GOD , to present your bodies as a living Sacrifice, holy and acceptible to God, which is your spiritual worship!

verses like these where i am convicted to not just read over blankly but seriously meditate upon and i believe the more we spend meditating on these kind of verses, the more transforming work God can do in our lives and completely change the way we look like as believers as a whole, our actions, words, thoughts , dreams... everything. but im constantly getting caught up in my own thoughts of how i view that life is supposed to be for me based on watching all those movies about romance that gets to the head and the culture that brutally bombards us with feministic views and being relative to what everyone else thinks..

i believe this is one of the reasons why paul washer, a baptist missionary pastor says that the hardest country in the world to be a REAL REAL Christian ... is America.. even compared to countries where there is so much persecution and torture... because at least in those countries we can honestely say we are not depending on our own strength... where as america is all about making it on your own.. its just crazy thinking about it.. how the influence of self worship begins at such a young age ... in elementary schools, everywhere..