Crossroads...

I didn't understand that word until it happened to me after graduation. it's so weird. I thought that after college I'd have something going on. even a plan for.. something.. but right now I feel like I'm at the in-between stages and it's confusing and somewhat scary. maybe this is me being shaky about who I am in Christ. I need to be filled with Joy in God and I know this but I haven't dived in to God's word. How can this Holy God love a sinner like me? and love me with a zeal that is terrifyingly yet amazingly unfathomable? and He is most glorified in me when I am most satisfied in him... yet I find that it is impossible to desire God in my fallen state, only He can by His spirit, create in me a desire for Him more than this whole world and everything it has to offer.

this is the cry of my heart... helpless yet with hope for radical change.

Ups and downs

May the words of my mouth
and the meditation from my heart
be pleasing to you
My God

You're my rock and my redeemer
You're the reason that i sing
i desire to give a blessing
in Your eyes
every hour and every moment
Lord i want to be your servant
i desire to be a blessing
in Your eyes

I have 2 weeks left before I officially finish college. tis a strange feeling. i think the confusion is setting in. Father in Heaven, help me treasure my last days and be excited about what the future holds as I live my days in surrender to you.

Yet again a mini-new experience

So I embark on a mission to Guadalajara Mexico in about 24 hrs. I have no idea what this experience will look like but I am hopeful that I will see God do great things in a week. He can use whoever He will whenever He wants. Please pray that God's glory will be magnified in the lives of Soar:Mexico missionaries, that our time will not be wasted but redeemed for Christ.

We desperately need His guidance and direction as well as strength to be courageous about the the Gospel :)

my on my how Harvard has changed

From the “Rules and Precepts Observed at Harvard College”, dated September 26, 1642:

“Let every student be plainly instructed, and earnestly pressed to consider well, the main end of his life and studies is to know God and Jesus Christ which is eternal life (John 17:3) and therefore to lay Christ in the bottom, as the only foundation of all sound knowledge and learning. And seeing the Lord only giveth wisdom, let every one seriously set himself by prayer in secret to seek it of him (Proverbs 2, 3).”

what I learned during my first week of senior yr at FPU

i asked a friend yesterday "What is something God is doing in your life today?" and he answered.. "what is he not doing? honestly.. is there a single thing He isn't doing?" and at first i was a little irritated about the fact that he didn't share specifics but as I got to thinking about it, i became overwhelmed... we need to meditate on even just that truth from time to time. not because of obligation.. but because we want to be mesmerized by our Savior at all hours of the day... for they are His..

and another thing occured to me last night..this must have been from one of the Paul Washer video clips I watched on the www.illbehonest.com website but i can't pinpoint which one, their all good and very convicting(i think it might be Know Christ, Know the Gospel). anywho, the Lord has been showing me that if I'm not caring for a person's soul, i don't love them... it doesn't matter if i am a missionary in calcutta for 50 yrs and do thousands of service projects.. and outreach.. if i don't share the gospel truth which has the power through the Holy Spirit to save them, i don't love them.. and those 50 yrs were worthless.. i don't want that to happen.. and i have to confess... for the most part, when i've approached others, caring for their souls has not been the thing on my mind.. God commands us to love our brothers and sisters as ourselves.. I've been doing as much as i can to "care for" my own soul, while missing the vital point that it needs to be shared. Christ is worthy to boast in every single day. so i know in thought what is vital for my life and the lives of others.. but what about the application? so that's my prayer request.. that I and every person who is genuinely a believer can be steadfast in caring for the souls of each being God brings them in contact with.

have a Blessed day :)

Help my Unbelief

O Help My Unbelief
by Isaac Watts

How sad our state by nature is
Our sin, how deep it stains
And Satan binds our captive minds
Fast in his slavish chains
But there's a voice of sovereign grace
Sounds from the sacred word:
"O ye despairing sinners come,
And trust upon the Lord"

My soul obeys the almighty call
And runs to this relief
I would believe thy promise, Lord,
O help my unbelief
To the dear fountain of thy blood
Incarnate God, I fly
Here let me wash my spotted soul,
From crimes of deepest dye

Stretch out thine arm, victorious King
My reigning sins subdue
Drive the old dragon from his seat
With all his hellish crew
A guilty weak and helpless worm
On thy kind arms I fall
Be thou my strength and righteousness
My Jesus and my all

Instead, Let There be a Flood of Justice

This is what American "Christians" need to hear