I didn't understand that word until it happened to me after graduation. it's so weird. I thought that after college I'd have something going on. even a plan for.. something.. but right now I feel like I'm at the in-between stages and it's confusing and somewhat scary. maybe this is me being shaky about who I am in Christ. I need to be filled with Joy in God and I know this but I haven't dived in to God's word. How can this Holy God love a sinner like me? and love me with a zeal that is terrifyingly yet amazingly unfathomable? and He is most glorified in me when I am most satisfied in him... yet I find that it is impossible to desire God in my fallen state, only He can by His spirit, create in me a desire for Him more than this whole world and everything it has to offer.
this is the cry of my heart... helpless yet with hope for radical change.
